The Lines We Cross

If you are of color but could pass for white, would you do it? All of my sisters have really light skin, and my skin is dark. If you saw us, you wouldn’t think that we were sisters. They often teased the fact that I was black and their skin wasn’t. Oh the names they had for me were so cruel. Growing up I could not understand why things came easier to them than it did for me. Strangers treated them friendlier and seemed warmer to them. Even males gravitated to them more. It was really frustrating and I soon grew resentment for my skin color. One day, a distant family member was giving my sister a piggy-back ride and when I asked for one, he said I was too black. That stood with me for a long time.

In her essay, “Racialization, ‘Flexible Ethnicity, ‘Gender, and Third-Generation Mexican American Identity”, Jessica Vasquez describe how some people use “flexible ethnicity”, to dodge the burdens of inequality or how some are automatically racialized and treated differently because they look white. Although I already figured out why my sister were treated better, this reading really struck a chord and 

reminded me of the unfairness I experienced because I was obviously black.

It’s sad to see that certain ideologies of white being better is still very much prevalent in our society and run deep within our minds. And we respond to it without even knowing that we are doing it.

So, if I could have passed for white, would I? If you had asked me that when I was younger, I would have said yes. But now that I am older, I wouldn’t because I know that even though my sister’s have gorgeous light skin, I have a better body. 

Climbing The Social Ladder

I really enjoyed reading “Black Middle-Class Suburbia”, by Karyn R. Lacy. African Americans that climb the social ladder often come under fire for the choices that they make in choosing to assimilate. Sadly, a lot of the criticisms come from fellow African Americans. Lacy talks about the different choices that these citizens make as they rise in economic status. They often move to different neighborhoods and have their children attend different schools. However the neighborhoods and the schools are usual predominately white. The parents all express that they felt that the only way for their children to have an advantage is to be comfortable being among other social classes besides their own. They are often judged for this decision and are told that they have missed out on the black experiences.

I personally agree with the idea of assimilation. As much as we would like to admit it or not, we live in society where Caucasians own most of the wealth, property and businesses. I feel that if we want to be successful and move upward in the social class system, we need to understand that America is made up of lots of races and cultures. It would be in our best interest to learn how to socialize with people that don’t always look like us.

Are We Truly Free?

America is known to be, “the land of the free.” Are we truly free? Can I truly do whatever I want? Because of society, no one is truly free. When we are born, our society and our culture teach us the rules and traditions of environment. Thus we are trained to control certain behaviors. Before I was even born, what will be and what won’t be tolerated was already determined. Although total control of my thoughts and actions do not exist, I am allowed certain freedoms. However, within what society allows, one may not truly be free.

Consider people of the upper versus the lower class. Charon says that, “ One does not generally control one’s own existence if one is poor.” This is shown to be very true in our American society. Think of the many celebrities the news has shown that have broken the law. Sometimes they seem to get a slap on the wrist compared to the severe punishment a lower class citizen might receive for the same crime.

I also believe that poverty denies certain freedoms as well. One on the kids that I work with is the eldest of her siblings. Because her mother cannot afford daycare for her other siblings, she has to be responsible for taking care of them. This young girl has lost some of her freedom because of economic status. This is the case for many larger lower class families. Some people might argue that her mother shouldn’t have so many kids. However, in the context of freedom, the mother then wouldn’t have the freedom to have as many kids as she wants because of her class status. Where as a person who is born in the upper class, these are not common issues. I’m sure we can think of tons of ways where the upper class has more freedom than the lower class.

GENDER "Roles": Male and Female

I read "The Impact of Pervasive Beauty Images on Black and White Girls' Self-Concepts", by Melissa Milkie and "Varieties of Masculinity in Male Cheerleading", by Eric Anderson. Both of these pieces were very insightful of how both male and female regard image as important. As a female, it was no surprise to see how the young white females compared themselves to what they felt were unrealistic images of women but, still felt compelled to because of pressures of their peers. What was most interesting to me was that men were exactly the same in how they internalized the importance of image and self-perception. Anderson teaches us that men just measure themselves by a entirely different scale however the insecurities are still there when their masculinity is put into the equation.

It was interesting to see into the minds of some of these guys who felt like doing anything that might be considered as feminine was labeled as gay. I felt a bit guilty because as a mother, I sometimes drive this idea into the mind of my step-son. If he swishes his hips in a dance, I would call him on it. Don't get me wrong, I have no offense against him doing so. I allow him to play dolls with his sister or whatever other "feminine" games and activities he might want to try. I try hard not to label things as masculine or feminine. However, my concern is for how he carries himself outside. It's easy to say that you don't care about such gender roles, however, he is in junior high and I know that certain behaviors can label him and destroy his self esteem if the kids poke at him. So I feel a bit torn. Part of me says, "who cares what other people think of you", while another side says, "be careful you don't want people to make fun of you."

It was also interesting to see how much of a learned behavior it actually is and made me think of the gender role stereotypes I unconsciously instill in my kids. I did feel less guilty when I saw that some of that gender roles thinking can be changed. When some of the "macho" thinking males join the cheerleading squad, their trained perception of women and of homosexuals actually changed to be more open and accepting of both groups. And that they did not have to sacrifice their masculinity to do so.

Troubles vs. Issues: The Sociological Imagination

Do you have troubles or do you have issues? If you thought they were the same, they are not. According to C. Wright Mill's essay, "The Promise of Sociology", having troubles is a personal problem where issues are social problems that affect us personally. He says, "A trouble is a private matter: Values cherished by an individual are felt by him to be threatened. An issue is a public matter: Some value cherished by publics is felt to be threatened"(Adler, 14). In his essay, Mills challenges us to use a sociological imagination to see how troubles and issues may be interrelated and not necessarily separate issues. "Sociological imagination enables us to grasp history and biography and the relations between the two within society"(Adler, 12). I really enjoyed reading this essay because it challenges one dimensional thinking. To not just look at ourselves but to look at ourselves, others, and the world and how both things or not separate but interchangeable.

What I like most about it is that I can see it playing out in my own life. I work with inner city kids in a low income neighborhood. In a passing conversation, I realized that one of the kids was struggling in school and wasn't a very strong reader. When we talked to him about school, he brushed it off and said he had a hard time focusing sometimes. In my mind, this is his own personal trouble. So we approached it as such. We started thinking of ways to encourage him. One day we decided to do a game where it required the kids to do some light reading. As we began the activity, we found that about 60% of the kids that attended had the exact same issues with reading. So we decided to start a tutoring program to help them along. One day, we were have group discussions on family, and the children began to open up and share a bit about their families. The ones that struggled the most had all been displaced at some point in their lives by ACS due to some form of negligence from their parents. In the year that the children had been visiting our center, we had never met their parents only signatures giving permission for the kids to come. When the program is over, the kids stay out for long hours into the night. These kids are only in middle school. These kids have major issues. Problems that extend beyond personal responsibility and beyond their control.

I cannot help them until I develop a social imagination and learn to think past the personal troubles of what I see with my kids. I have to learn to look at the big picture.

The American Dream

I really like the article, "Class In America". Class status always seemed to be that unspoken truth. The truth that there is an invisible scale that measures our success in this world. Everyone is on it, whether we like it, believe in it, or care about it. Although my beliefs have trained me to measure myself against a different scale, that still dosen't change where I am on the graph. If I think about it through the lens of the author of this article, the underlying reason for my being in this sociology class is to obtain a degree so that doors that were once closed to me will be opened. I do want to move up and I am willing to push myself to the limit and beyond to get ahead.

A classmate of mine used Bill Clinton as a reference to someone who started from nothing to go on to become an important part of American history. She said, " He not only received the education that changed his social standing, but he worked hard enough to recieve a scholarship at a prestigious school ultimately leading him to his role as President of The United States". She said this to say that hard work is the way to the American Dream. I truly believe that.

There are some things that I would like to learn more about. How much influence do our parents have on our success in moving up? The article touches on this subject but, never explains why. One of my classmates said that she believed that the children of the upper class had a bit of an advantage in moving up in class than the lower class because they did not have to worry about finacial burden. I really agree with her on that. On a personal note, I don't know anyone who has moved up from the class of their parents which is low class or low middle class. Why is that? According to the article, they can move. But why haven't they.