GENDER "Roles": Male and Female

I read "The Impact of Pervasive Beauty Images on Black and White Girls' Self-Concepts", by Melissa Milkie and "Varieties of Masculinity in Male Cheerleading", by Eric Anderson. Both of these pieces were very insightful of how both male and female regard image as important. As a female, it was no surprise to see how the young white females compared themselves to what they felt were unrealistic images of women but, still felt compelled to because of pressures of their peers. What was most interesting to me was that men were exactly the same in how they internalized the importance of image and self-perception. Anderson teaches us that men just measure themselves by a entirely different scale however the insecurities are still there when their masculinity is put into the equation.

It was interesting to see into the minds of some of these guys who felt like doing anything that might be considered as feminine was labeled as gay. I felt a bit guilty because as a mother, I sometimes drive this idea into the mind of my step-son. If he swishes his hips in a dance, I would call him on it. Don't get me wrong, I have no offense against him doing so. I allow him to play dolls with his sister or whatever other "feminine" games and activities he might want to try. I try hard not to label things as masculine or feminine. However, my concern is for how he carries himself outside. It's easy to say that you don't care about such gender roles, however, he is in junior high and I know that certain behaviors can label him and destroy his self esteem if the kids poke at him. So I feel a bit torn. Part of me says, "who cares what other people think of you", while another side says, "be careful you don't want people to make fun of you."

It was also interesting to see how much of a learned behavior it actually is and made me think of the gender role stereotypes I unconsciously instill in my kids. I did feel less guilty when I saw that some of that gender roles thinking can be changed. When some of the "macho" thinking males join the cheerleading squad, their trained perception of women and of homosexuals actually changed to be more open and accepting of both groups. And that they did not have to sacrifice their masculinity to do so.